Reflections on a pandemic

This whole Coronavirus pandemic is really abstract: this is not one neighbourhood that is affected, nor is it limited to one city or country. It is the whole world. Wow. It is also incomprehensible as to how fast it took hold. One day, I was listening to a BBC report about some virus in distant China and, poof, a few weeks later, the world is shut down. On March 1, I had a plane ticket and plans to see family/friends/work in England and head over to Amsterdam for a conference (departure March 13, return March 22) . By March 6, that conference was postponed indefinitely. After having a discussion with my travel agent on March 10, I decided that I was still leaving to keep my family/friends/work plans in England and Amsterdam. It was not a controversial decision at the time. After all, my ticket was not refundable and I really wanted to go. Some of my colleagues said that they had cancelled their conference plans... others said that they would still go. Andreas encouraged me to enjoy my trip. During the night between March 11 and 12, I heard a report on the radio that Trump was closing the borders to international flights. When I woke up, I told Andreas about my fears about not being able to get back home again. After an initial "come on, your are going", he understood my concerns. A few hours later, my flight was cancelled (with the absolute support of my travel agent who had intended to call me that morning anyway... and a full ticket refund) and I sadly told my family/friends/work that I could no longer go. At that moment, I felt that maybe it was a rushed decision, a bit paranoid... maybe I was being silly. By the next day (March 13... the day that I was supposed to leave), countries started shutting down one by one... My university posted travel advisories and shut down clinical access to all those coming back from international travel. The boys' school closed... and then so did Andreas'... then mine... I no longer felt silly.

Little did we know that day that by May 12 (2 months after my trip was cancelled), we would still be isolating at home.... still no school... work from home... all meetings and classes online. Little did I know that having a "drink with friends" would mean logging onto Zoom. I online shop... for masks. Laboratory hygiene would be required for grocery shopping, as would line ups. Following footprints and arrows on the floor would be almost "normal" and expected behaviour. Social distancing is common knowledge. After biting my tongue so that I would not say "go play with your friends" to the boys, it no longer comes out of my mouth (although I think it regularly). I do not use cash, nor do I need to fill up our gas tank because we don't go anywhere. Take out is the only restaurant experience that is possible. Having a latte at Starbucks involved following footprints and standing at the front door... waiting for my turn... putting my debit card in a plastic box, witnessing someone else tap for me, retrieving my bill, card and coffee from the same plastic box (that was dutifully wiped down before and after me) and handing one of the coffees to Andreas when I got back to the car while I removed my mask and sanitized my hands... and almost finding this normal. All this within 2 months... No one knows what will happen in the next 2 months... no one dares to guess...

Why am I writing all this? Honestly, beats me. I guess I need some sort of reflection. Some sort of WTF?!? Maybe, when I flip through my blog pages on May 12, 2021, I will think: wow... that was messed up. Hopefully, I will then be complaining again about making school lunches and our busy schedule, taking the boys from activity to activity. Right now, as much as I value the time with my family because I am fully aware that, as the boys get older, they will no longer want to hang out with us, I also miss our day to day. Our old day to day.

Sending love to you all xox

The view... from home.

Postcards from Montreal... nothing gold can stay....

This week has been filled with the unexpected and sad... From President Trump to our Veterans' Day to the loss of the beautiful Leonard Cohen... Lots of events to ponder upon...

Wishing you a peaceful Friday night xox

Getting ready for Christmas.... already!

Thinking about those who fought in the Great Wars 

Party on a bench... sparking wine... not just any party ;)

Falling leaves

Great resting place

The Yellow Door is celebrating 50 years... which included Leonard Cohen... RIP

Nothing gold can stay....

Life

Last night, I found out that an old friend of mine had passed away. I met her when I lived in Calgary in the early 1990's, during a period of my life where I did a lot of stupid-early-20's stuff. My friend was the type of person who called me out on bad decisions, supported me in the good ones and stood by me no matter what. She was no bullshit, feisty, loyal and tough-loving. I learned a lot from her...
Over the past 15 years or so, we sort of lost touch. I cannot remember how we started communicating again but I am so happy that we did. She was a big part of my life at one time and I was glad to reconnect.
She knew that she was dying but didn't let it on. After the new year, I found out from a good friend of hers that she had terminal cancer and wasn't expected to have much time left. I will always appreciate finding this out because I was able to talk to her on the phone and to write her a letter to tell her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her. It was so important to be able to do this while she was still living and not on a memorial page.

Lesson learned: Life is short.... make the most of it while you can.

Au revoir, my friend.  I know that you will continue to kick ass.... xox

Resolutions

I always like to make one New Year's resolution. It has to be a personal challenge and something that I can do for the "bigger" picture. This year, I am focusing on happiness as a choice....
We spend too much time blaming outside influences for our happiness: if I lost 5 pounds, I would be happy. If I made more money, I would be happy. If my boys cleaned up after themselves, I would be happy. If my husband listened to me more often, I would be happy. Anyway, you get the picture ;) The thing is that, even if you get what you wished for, you still might not be happy. There will always be something else. Another thing or event or person that keeps you from your happiness. I have decided this year that I will first be happy and everything else can happen. It is a choice... and one that I have to work on. This is my resolution....

Wishing you all happiness... that you make yourselves..... xox

I don't know who originally drew this or where I even got it from but it works ;)